Chile Journal Entry 1

July 14, 2008 - On a plane to Santiago

Well, we're finally out of America and on our way, and so far we've been blessed with great travel, good company, and no airport troubles!

I continue to be amazed at the blessings that God has given to me. I'll never understand why God chose to use me with these students and this church, and I continue to be humbled at His goodness in spite of my sin and inadequacy.

I can't wait to be on the ground, see Cliff and his family, and set eyes on this city I've been praying for for so long! I am excited, but also a little scared and apprehensive, too. God, will you really call me and my family to a place like this? Is it arrogance to think that You'd ever desire to let me serve You as a missionary? I can't even control my own life, so who am I to think that You'd use me to reach those that I cannot even speak to at this point?

God, my desire is to trust you, let you purify my life, and go wherever you send me and my amazing family. I'll just pray that I'll have the strength of faith and character to leave everything behind and follow You when You call me. . .

Chile Blogs

Well, God is so good, and gave us a great trip to Chile! He led us in so many ways, and I was blown away by watching Him work in the lives of my students and the Chileans that we were so blessed to work with! While I was in Chile, I kept a daily journal of what happened there, and over the next few weeks I'll be putting those journals on here for you to read, along with pictures and links to give you a better idea of what we did and where we were. I'll be placing the first post in the next day or so, so keep checking back, and let me know what you think. God bless!

Fuge 08

So, I just finished another week of camp, Centrifuge 2008: Kilimanjaro. I look forward to and love camp every year, but this year was pretty different: I wasn't that excited or focused on camp this summer. With our Chile mission trip in just a few weeks, I was so focused on the things that I needed to get done there, that I felt like my heart wasn't completely in the right place for Fuge this year. However, as I left for Fuge, I had to have faith in God. . . faith that He could work even when my heart didn't feel as prepared and focused as usual, and faith that God could continue to prepare and provide for the Chile trip even when I was out of the office (amazing to think that God could possibly work without me, huh?!?). So, I was excited and still hesitant to see what God would do and how He would work.

In the end, God did not disappoint (of course)! Watching God work in the lives of my students was (and always is) one of the most exciting and humbling things I ever get to be a part of. Seeing students set free from struggles and temptations, seeing youth come to know Christ, getting to be a part of students feeling a call to ministry. . . just blew me away. The Centrifuge staff was amazing, and touched me as well as the students (Ed, Josh, John, Mike, Cameron. . .you guys are great, I'll miss you, and thank you for following God's call on your life to bless students that mean so much to me!). I thank God for such an amazing week or rest and focus before this mission trip, and can't wait to see how God is going to work in Chile over the rest of the month. Keep me in your prayers!!

Every New Day

This is one of the most powerful and emotional songs I know. . . I was recently listening to it again, and wanted to share it with you all. . . This is "Every New Day" by Five Iron Frenzy:

When I was young, the smallest trick of light,
Could catch my eye,
Then life was new and every new day,
I thought that I could fly.
I believed in what I hoped for,
And I hoped for things unseen,
I had wings and dreams could soar,
I just don't feel like flying anymore.
When the stars threw down their spears,
Watered Heaven with their tears,
Before words were spoken,
Before eternity.

Dear Father, I need you,
Your strength my heart to mend.
I want to fly higher,
Every new day again.

When I was small, the furthest I could reach,
Was not so high,
Then I thought the world was so much smaller,
Feeling that I could fly.
Through distant deeps and skies,
Behind infinity,
Below the face of Heaven,
He stoops to create me.

Dear Father, I need you,
Your strength my heart to mend.
I want to fly higher,
Every new day again.

Man versus himself.
Man versus machine.
Man versus the world.
Mankind versus me.
The struggles go on,
The wisdom I lack,
The burdens keep pilling
Up on my back.
So hard to breathe,
To take the next step.
The mountain is high,
I wait in the depths.
Yearning for grace,
And hoping for peace.
Dear God...
Increase.

Healing hands of God have mercy on our unclean souls once again.
Jesus Christ, light of the world burning bright within our hearts forever.
Freedom means love without condition, without a beginning or an end.
Here's my heart, let it be forever Yours,
Only You can make every new day seem so new!

I have lately felt like the bridge of this song: the struggles go on, the wisdom I lack, and these burdens keep piling up on my back. Between camps, mission trips, financial issues, family trips, having another child, being a Godly father and husband, failing at being a Godly father and husband, worries and questions about the future. . . in all these things I feel completely inadequate. And the reason is because I am, completely inadequate! Nothing I can do is good enough because Biblically, nothing I can do is good. I am a sinful man, and even in my attempts to do good, I sin. I am desperately hopeless, completely confused, eternally lost. . . Until God increases. He is the Good and Pure and Holy One, He is the lover of my soul, and the one who can purify me of all this dross and refine in me the heart and life I need to have. Without Him I am lost and selfish and stressed and worried and completely without hope, as we all are, every one of us. But, with Him I am redeemed, loved, full of joy and peace and hope. Lord, every new day I need more of You in my life, in all of my life. Please, dear God, increase!

Tamed and Hypocrisy

So, we are currently discussing "Taming the Tongue" in youth group. . .4 different weeks, 4 subjects: Encouragement, Quarreling, Profanity, and Praising. This past week, I was gone (the only Sunday I can remember missing for a non-youth ministry related event. While I was gone, I had my friend and former student Jacob teach the lesson on quarreling. . . and talk about how we often miss the point about God simply because we are too busy arguing the things that don't really matter. So, lo and behold, while I'm out of town, I have several opportunities to discuss religion with some members of my wife's family: Catholic wedding, a cousin discusses their Episcopal church, talking about pastors I've been listening to online and books I've been reading. . . great discussions and conversations. But, at the end of the weekend, I realize that I haven't discussed one single thing of eternal importance all weekend! I've argued theology, discussed ideas, and stood up for the 'right things,' but never once talked about God's love, Christ's atonement, my depravity, or God's great grace and salvation. What a horrible moment to realize that I've missed the point completely, and haven't learned even from the lessons that I've prepared the importance of my every word being seasoned with salt and being prepared to give an answer for this hope that I have!! Forgive me, Lord, for these and all other times that I've missed the chances You've given me simply because I couldn't stop my tongue and use the Spirit instead!