The Lemon

One problem with having 4 kids, like we now do, is you have to figure out how to get them from place to place. This is especially important while living in a foreign country, because A) a lot of the driving that we do is VERY long distance, from Wyoming to southern Mexico, and B) you REALLY don't want to have vehicle problems in while driving in a foreign country with 4 kids in the back. Also, we tend to travel with a lot of luggage, which comes from having a large family, and comes from us many times heading to places like retreats, youth camps, etc, all of which require instruments, supplies, sleeping bags, and other large items. So, when Samuel was born, we had to make a vehicle switch. The old van we owned, a Toyota, would fit 4 kids, but with 4 kids we wouldn't be able to fold up a seat to fit more luggage, so we would be very limited on space for items. We decided to buy an older, MUCH larger 7 passenger Dodge van, with plenty of room for kids, luggage, instruments, and finally with a hitch for hauling even more supplies to camps and retreats. We knew the gas costs would kill us, but they'd be offset by the blessing of being able to get around with everything we needed.

The beast of a van we bought to bring to Mexico.

At the last minute, we decided to leave the old Toyota behind with family instead of selling it, in case we had problems and needed the van again in some unforeseeable future.

Well, that future has arrived.

Unfortunately, the van we purchased has been a lemon. Right off the bat, it was in the shop with some fairly costly problems, and it has been in the shop nearly every month since then for a variety of issues. And those problems have added up to a point where we can't keep paying each month just to have a vehicle that might work. It's not a wise use of our resources financially, and it has been an added stress that we just don't need.

Our van earlier this year, stuck in a parking lot with a broken ball joint and a tire about to fall off. One of many mechanical failures we've experienced this past year.

So, next week, I'll be driving back to Wyoming for a very fast trip. While there, I'll leave this van behind to sell, and pick up the Toyota to bring it back to Mexico. It's too small for us, but I know that it's more reliable that the other van, and we'll have to make it work for a time until we're able to get something more appropriate for our family and our ministry here.

So please pray! Pray that I'll have safe travels there and back (6 total days of driving, assuming I have no car problems). Pray for Sara and the kids as they stay behind in Mexico while I'm gone, that they will be protected and provided for in every way. Pray for God to give us the right vehicle at the right time that will be perfect for us and the ministry here.

And most of all, pray that the Gospel will keep going forth here in Mexico, no matter what vehicle we have!

When God Moves People

Monday, Samir flew to Oklahoma.

This has been a difficult year for us here in Guzmán relationaly. This is always true in missions, especially in the first few years. You leave behind family, friends, jobs, churches, and connections, to go around the world. You immerse yourself in a new culture, a new language, with new people. It takes a while to build up friendships, and sometimes even longer because you're always the outsider. You're always the one who can't communicate as well, who can't understand the things that they take for granted, the one who doesn't understand why that play on words was funny, or who doesn't understand the importance of what was just shared with you. So there's always walls that you struggle to get around and over in order to build real, deep, important relationships and friendships.

This was compounded for us because, unlike most missionaries that attended language school with us, we weren't heading to Mexico to work with anyone who was already there. We didn't have a team; we didn't have Americans there waiting for us who would be able to show us around, introduce us to people, be our friends, and bear our burdens. We didn't really know anyone here in Guzmán when we came here. We simply tried to trust God, and stepped out into the unknown.

Over time, we started making friendships. We began to meet people, grew in our confidence of the language, and share more of ourselves with others. We invited people into our homes. Sometimes they invited us into theirs. We became part of a church, and spent a lot of time with them. Things were still lonely, but it got easier.

Then, earlier this year, we had to make the decision to leave that church, which cost us many of our friendships (If you don't know that story, you can ask us about it another time, this isn't the place to retell it). So, for the past few months, we've been without a lot of the connections and friendships that we've come to rely upon. It's been a challenging few months.

Us with Marlene and Samir at his going away party during our home Bible study.

But, in the midst of this all, God has given us some good, Godly encouragement, friends who lift us up and who we're blessed to spend time with. Among these are two couples, Marlene and Samir, and Laura and Gonzalo. We spend every Thursday night (usually along with a few other times per week) with Marlene and Samir and Marlene's sister Sara, making dinner, and usually playing games and talking until midnight. We see Laura and her kids (who are our kids' best friends here) several times a week as well, and Sara and Laura are very close. Even as things have been challenging since leaving the church, we've had some people our age to spend time with and be encouraged by. Marlene and Samir and Laura and Gonzalo have also been very instrumental in helping us start our new house church here, serving along side of us and encouraging us in the work.

But, Monday, Samir flew to Oklahoma. He's been blessed with an opportunity to work there as a veterinarian for a few years, and after spending the past few months getting his visa approved, a few days ago he was finally able to travel there to begin working. Marlene will be leaving to join him shortly once her visa is ready and Samir has prepared things there for her. We're excited for them, and excited to see how God uses them there in western Oklahoma. But it's hard to see them leave.

Sara with Laura, Samir, Laura's mother, and Marlene

At the same time, Gonzalo has been transferred to work in Manzanillo, about 2 hours south of us, and Laura and the kids will be moving there in the next few weeks to join him. This will be especially hard for our family because the kids all spend so much time together. Zoe, Caitlynn and Gabe are already having a hard time with the idea that their friends won't be living here anymore.  It's also challenging for us to see Marlene, Samir,Gonzalo and Laura all leaving Ciudad Guzmán at about the same time.

Most of all though, it will leave a big hole in us. In some ways, after what's happened over the past few months here, we almost feel like we're starting all over again with our friendships in Guzmán. Sometimes, we don't always share our prayer requests because we don't want to sound like we're whining, or like we're not happy to be here. We're incredibly blessed to be serving here, and we do love it here. But we also want to be faithful to pray for one another, and we can't do that if we don't tell you how to pray for us. So, would you pray for us in our loneliness? These next few weeks will especially be difficult for us. Pray that God will give us new connections and friendships, and that we'll be able to form deep relationships with more people. Pray that God will sustain us and be with us as we struggle with missing people. Pray that He will be our comfort and our strength in the middle of this.

Pray for Samir and Marlene as they begin a new life in Oklahoma, going through much of what we're going through here. Pray that God will use them there and encourage them. Pray for Laura and Gonzalo in Manzanillo. Pray that they will find a church to be a part of and serve in. Pray for both of these couples, that God will keep their marriages strong as they go through the stressful changes that come with moving to new places with new jobs. Pray that they will grow during these times, and that God will use them wherever they are.

Thank you for your prayers for us. And thank you for your continued support for this ministry here in Mexico. God bless!

Learn a Language

Many times since we left Casper at the end of 2011 to head to language school, I've thought to myself: 'Why didn't I start learning this language sooner?'

I had the chances.  In Jr. High school and High school, I decided to take Latin instead of Spanish (not that I regret that decision, since it led to me meeting my wife and learning a language that has been a huge foundation for me in several things, including learning Spanish).  In 2004, I took a team of youth to Ecuador to do our first international mission trip.  While there, I realized how terrible my language skills were (like when a doctor asked me, 'Como está?' and I replied, 'Nick'.)  When we came back from there, I didn't learn Spanish.  In 2008, we went to Chile, and I started to realize how the Lord was calling us to a Spanish speaking country.  I came back, and learned a little bit of simple vocabulary, but it still seemed so far away, so I didn't learn much.  It really took until the date was set for us to go to language school when I realized: I needed to learn this language.  A new language!

Obviously, Spanish is an important part of my life now.  But, as I've thought about it, as I've talked to other people about it, as we've traveled back to the United States once (and we're getting ready to do it again in a week), I've realized something: You need to learn this language, too.

Ok, maybe not this language (though I do think that most of you should choose Spanish, which I'll explain in a minute).  But you need to learn a language.  Something.  Anything.  We're not good at it.  We learn a few words.  A few of us can remember a few phrases from high school Spanish, or a big or French pronunciation from that one college class you needed for the credit.  But overall, as Americans, we just don't learn another language (and I'm generalizing, so if this doesn't apply to you, ignore the following sentences).

In fact, we're usually proud that we don't learn another language.  We boast about how 'this is America!' so we only speak English, because we all know that the English language is one of the fruits of the Spirit listed in the Bible.  We post pictures on Facebook about our encounters on the phone when they ask us to press 1 for English or 2 for Spanish, and we ask what's happened to our nation.  We put posts on fb and send out emails that say that if someone wants to live in our country, they need to speak our language.  Sadly, a high percentage of these posts are from my fellow conservative, evangelical friends.  We're proud of our monolingualism, and we often wear it as a badge of honor.  But, I want you to consider that, if you're someone who wants to help someone, if you're someone who cares about people, and especially if you want to make an eternal impact on someone with the Gospel of Jesus Christ, you should do everything you can to learn another language.

Here's the facts: the world comes to America.  It always has.  We're a well-known nation of immigrants.  Right now, a lot of that world coming to America is from the south: Mexico.  Honduras.  Nicaragua.  Ecuador.  And they all speak Spanish.  And yes, if they're going to live in the United States, they should probably learn English.  But the fact is, they want to learn!  They're working on it, they're trying.  And most of us who say, 'They should learn our language,' have never experienced what it's like to live in another country and learn the language and the culture and the customs.  It's still hard for us living here in Mexico, and we paid to go to a great language school in Costa Rica first to help us out.  The immigrants to the United States don't have that luxury.  They come and right away need to live, and it will take them a long time to learn the language.

Spanish distribution in the United States... TEN years ago!  How much do you think this map has changed in the past 10 years?

But the fact is, while they learn slowly learn English, increasingly, you won't be as good at your job if you can't speak their language.  Teachers: how many of you have already had times where you needed to know Spanish to speak to a student?  Or to his family?  Doctors and nurses: how often do people come for help, with little or no English?  Police officers:  How often do you need to know Spanish in order to help someone, or in order to know if a situation is safe or not?  Pastors: how many people in your communities can you not help at all personally simply because you can't even communicate with them to see what their needs are?  I told someone recently that I needed Spanish to be a missionary, but more and more, I wasn't sure I could be the best pastor possible without at least some Spanish.  And I (along with a lot of you reading this) am from Wyoming, which isn't nearly as influenced by immigration right now as other states.  If I needed it in Wyoming, you know it's needed in Colorado, and Arizona, and Texas, and all across the country.

If this gets your national pride riled up, I simply have this to say: stop it.  I'm not asking you to be less American.  I'm not asking you to exchange the red, white, and blue for the green, white, and red of Mexico's flag.  I'm not asking you to commit any kind of treason at all.  I'm asking you to love people more than you love this idea of a one-language nation.

When people move into your community, they need help.  They need to know how to find a good doctor.  Or a mechanic.  Or they need help moving a sofa.  Or they need directions.  Sometimes, they hit hard times (like we all do), and they need help with food.  Or with changing a tire.  Or they just need a friend, neighbors they can talk to.  In a thousand different ways, people need help.  And if you choose to wait for them to learn the language before you're willing to help them, you are saying that your English language is more important to you than the needs and lives of the people around you.

Secondly, if you learn Spanish, you can go and serve and help in so many places.  You can help rebuild homes in flood-soaked Mexico.  You can share the Gospel high in the mountains of Ecuador.  You can help to pull women out of sex-trafficking in Nicaragua.  You can reach inner-city youth in Chile.  When there's a disaster, you can go, and help, and serve.  You can be ready to go as the Lord calls you.

Look at all the places you can go and speak Spanish!

Finally, I've never heard someone say that they regretted knowing more languages.  In Europe, they learn two, three, four at a time, because they know that it's that important.  Even many of the kids in Latin America can speak English far better than most people that I know can speak Spanish.  When you learn another language, you think differently.  Your mind begins to do strange things, and you absorb things in different ways.  It's not easy; in some ways, it'll be one of the harder things you've ever done.  But it's worth it.

By the way, maybe Spanish really isn't your thing.  Like, at all.  That's fine.  What about French?  That's fine!  You can go so many places and share the Gospel using French!

Hey!  Wanna share about Jesus and help people here?

Or what about Chinese?  Almost 20% of the world's people live in China.  Or you could learn Hindi, and share Jesus with only about 17% of the world's population.

Somehow, in some way... learn a language.  Adults, it's harder for us, but try.  Learn a few phrases.  Learn some words.  Know how to ask someone if they need help.  Learn how to say Jesus loves you.  Learn left, right, straight, blocks, and miles, so that you can give people directions.  Learn numbers, so that you can help people with phone numbers, or count money.  Just start learning.  If you have kids, make them learn something.  Not just a few words in a class that they'll forget once the final is done.  Let them really learn.  They'll never regret it when they're looking for jobs, when they're meeting people and making friends, when they have chances to help people, and when they have chances to share the Gospel.

If you're younger, and you're reading this, you're so lucky.  God has made your brain so that it learns languages easier and faster and more naturally than an older brain.  Take advantage of it, and learn as much as you can.  If you know someone who speaks another language fluently and naturally, ask to spend time with them and listen to them so you can learn about flow and pitch and accents.  Do everything you can so you can learn.  You'll never regret it.

Don't let a stubbornness against learning a new language be the stumbling block that slows someone down on their way to the cross.  Instead, look around your city, look at your world, and tell God that you want to be equipped to reach anyone that you can, in any way that you can, with the Gospel of Jesus Christ.

There's nothing sweeter than praying, worshiping, and studying the Bible in another language with native speakers.

How You Can Help Us: Give

Today, I wanted to continue with the series that I started a few weeks ago, about the different ways that you can support the ministry here in Mexico (and, not to just make this about us, but ways that you can support ANY missionary that you know).  However, before I begin with today's theme, I want to say this: I do NOT write these things to make anyone feel guilty!  We know that we have amazing supporters (in many different ways) who love us and lift us up.  So when we write about communication (like last time) we don't do it because we feel neglected in that area.  We talk about these themes because we know our supporters love us, and that they want to know how to lift us up, encourage us, and support the ministry.  So, as you read these, be encouraged!

That said, today we want to talk about giving.  For me, growing up in a Southern Baptist church as a kid, giving to support a missionary, a specific missionary, wasn't really something I ever thought about.  We gave to the offering plate, and that was all, and we'd hear about missions sometimes (especially at Christmas time, thanks to Ms. Lottie Moon), but when we gave, we gave knowing that it would go... somewhere. Eventually it would make it to some missionaries.  We didn't know who, and we didn't know where, so I never had many chances to put a face and a name with the money that was given.  So, when the Lord led us to be a part of Global Outreach, I was surprised and a little scared, to be honest.  I didn't really know what it meant, what it looked like, to have to raise support.  Plus, we had some people telling us that the churches in Wyoming were too small, too Southern Baptist, and not plentiful enough to support a missionary like us.  But, we felt called in this direction, so we prayed, and went out in faith.  And, as God usually does, He used a situation that didn't look possible in order to do what only He can do, and here we are a few years later, having done our time at language school, and now our first year in Ciudad Guzmán, Mexico!

So, for missionaries like us, and like our friends that are serving in Uruguay, Peru, Ecuador, Costa Rica, and other countries, financial giving is like the physical rope that holds up our mission here (last time, we talked about communication, the emotional support).  But, what does the money actually DO?

1. It Lets Us Live:  This is one of the most obvious uses, but also a very important one.  What you give to us allows us to live.  It buys groceries, it pays for the rent, and the utilities.  It helps us pay the incredible cost of our insurance (yeah, we know, NO one wants to get started on the cost of insurance right now!).  It allows us to have what we need so that we don't have to worry about those things while we focus on sharing the Gospel of Jesus Christ here in Mexico.  And we can't tell you what a blessing it is every time we're able to pay a bill, or buy a loaf of bread.  When I shop, I constantly try to remember, with every can and package of food that we buy, that you, one of you, gave generously from what the Lord has given you so that we can support our family like this.  And I can't tell you what a humbling and blessed reminder that is every time.  THANK YOU from the bottom of our hearts for blessing us and supporting us in this way as you give to the Lord.
2. It Provides for Emergencies: This may seem like part of #1, but for a missionary, it's in it's own separate category.  Daily living is often complicated enough in a foreign country, especially when you're still figuring out the system, where things are, and how to take care of everything.  But, when things happen, like when Zoe broke her leg in January, or when the front brakes went out on the van in August, it's such a huge blessing to not have to worry about a way to pay for those problems on top of everything else.
3. It Allows Us To Travel: Right now, we have to leave Mexico every 6 months to renew our visas.  This means a drive to the border (15 hours away) with all of the gas, food stops, hotel stays, and tolls (Mexico loves their toll roads) that you'd expect, twice a year.  It adds up.  But, there's also in-country travel.  Travel to Bernal in April for a pastor's conference.  Travel to Manzanillo for a different conference in June.  Travel to Colima for a youth camp in July.  Travel to Sayula, or Tamazula, or Guadalajara, or other places to preach and share the Gospel.  Travel this coming Saturday to El Grullo this Saturday with a van full of students for a youth retreat.  Every time, we're able to go where we're needed and do what we're called to do because of your giving.
4. It Allows Us to Share: Being able to live here means we're able to share.  We're able to get Bibles.  We're able (in a few months) to start English classes, and get the materials we need to offer these classes.  We're able to host meals for college students, and for families that we're getting to know.  We're able to purchase Christian marriage books to counsel families and marriages that are struggling.  We're able to meet needs of people as God leads us.  We're able to get materials for Bible studies. We're able to be the light that Christ has called us to be here.  And THAT is everything!
5. It Lets us Dream:  Even as we serve here and do these things, we have larger dreams in our hearts and in our prayers.  Dreams of starting Bible studies and churches in nearby towns. Dreams of reaching more and more students with the Gospel of Jesus Christ.  Dreams of starting a Christian camp here in this area that can host children's camps, youth camps, pastor's retreats, Men's retreats, women's retreats, seminary classes, and can be used as a staging area for missions teams.  Big dreams... dreams bigger than we are, and bigger than our current budget (by far).  But, much smaller than our great God.  Every time you give, every time we see God's provision and support through YOU, we see the possibility of these dreams coming true, as the Lord allows.  And this lifts us up and encourages us so much!

There are many more things that I could probably say about what happens when you give, but this is a good start.  For those of you who financially support us and the ministry here, thank you so much!  You'll never know, this side of heaven, the impact that it has on us and on the Kingdom.  And as the Lord allows, please continue to give faithfully.  If you haven't given, and would like to, or would like to help spread the word of our ministry here so that we can share it with more believers and churches, you can contact us directly, or you can give at our organization's website, here.  Or, you can mail it directly, to:

Global Outreach International

P.O. Box 1 

Tupelo, MS 38802

 If you have any questions, or would like to be a financial part of what the Lord is doing here, let us know, and thank you again for all of the continued faithfulness and support that we see from you in so many ways!

Schedule additions

So, the past week has brought up an interesting and unexpected chance to serve here in Guzmán, and to get to know more people in our community:  I (Nick) am teaching English!

A few weeks ago, as Zoe started school at the nearby private school, the administration expressed some interest in me teaching English there, but we couldn't make it work because we were planning on being in the States in November and December this year, and they needed a teacher that wasn't going to need to miss 6-8 weeks of classes this semester.  I was a little bummed out that I didn't get to teach, but I knew that God had the plan, and apparently there were more important things for us to be focusing on right now in Guzmán.  So we worked on getting Zoe settled into her school schedule, focused on our Bible studies with the college students and some visits with pastors in Guadalajara, and looked for other opportunities to serve the Lord.

Then, last week, we got the call: one of the teachers had a family emergency, and they needed someone to cover for her for anywhere from 2 weeks to a month.  So, since last Wednesday, I've been teaching a 3rd grade class and a secondary (Jr. High) class every day.  It's been a challenge for several reasons: first of all, I'm definitely being challenged to use my Spanish in a very different environment than I've ever used it before.  All of the normal classroom words and phrases that we use to communicate, to demand attention, and to control the class... all are ones that I haven't used much in my everyday living there in Guzmán.  Second, normal classroom behavior here is slightly more chaotic than it is in the States... kids get up, walk around, talk more, listen less.  And, with the gringo in charge, they KNOW that I can't command a room quite as well as their normal teacher, so they're definitely pushing their boundaries.  The first few days were very rough, and I've been praying for patience.  Today was much better and more encouraging, and I'm hoping that, as the students get used to me, they'll continue to respond well to my teaching.  I have some freedom in my lessons with what I teach and how I teach it, so I've been able to talk some in class about my past as a pastor and what we're doing in Guzmán now, as well as topics such as prayer and God.  I'm hoping for more opportunities to share, especially one on one with some of the secondary students as I usually have the chance to talk with them more personally after class is over.

Please pray that, for however long it lasts, I'll be able to be a light to these students, and bless them, not just with the teaching, but with opportunities to share the Gospel!  Also, pray that we'll develop stronger connections to the community and to new families through this opportunities.  Already, it's been exciting to have children come up to me saying, 'Hola, profe!' (Hi, professor!) at the school and occasionally in the streets of Guzmán, and we're praying for more and more chances to get to know these wonderful children and their families through this chance that the Lord has given us to serve them and the school during this time.  Thanks for your prayers!

How You Can Help Us: Communication

This is going to be the first in a series of blog posts over the next few months about different ways you can support us on our mission here in Mexico.  They won't be long, but hopefully they'll be helpful for you as you prayerfully serve us while we serve here!

Today's topic is one that we bring up from time to time, but one that is probably more important than you realize:  Communication!  Growing up in the Southern Baptist Convention, I heard frequently about giving monetarily to support missionaries, I heard often about going on mission, and I heard rarely about praying for missionaries (specific missionaries, not just ones in general).  However, I'm not sure I can remember ever being encouraged to reach out and contact a specific missionary, probably because I didn't really know any missionaries.  However, now that we've been gone for 18 months, I can say this: I never realized how important contact is for a missionary!

Our letter wall, just some of the letters and cards we've received here in the past year.

Sara and I were talking a while back, and she said, "You know, now that I've been a missionary, if we ever returned to live in the States, I think I would have to find missionaries to write to, now that I know how much it means." This pretty well sums up how much it means to us when we get letters, packages, emails, phone calls, skype calls, and even Facebook messages.  They're visible, tangible reminders for us that there are people back home that are holding the rope for us, that are supporting us.  They are weapons against discouragement on days when we feel lonely and homesick, that we are far away, but not forgotten.  They are encouragements on days when we are discouraged, that we are not in the fight for souls alone.  They opportunities to talk to our kids about how blessed we are to have the family and friends that we do.  They mean the world to us!

And, we're blessed to live in the day that we do!  Not that long ago, communicating with a missionary would mean writing a letter that may or may not make it to the missionary within a few months.  Today, we have computer communication with Skype, Facebook, and email that is instantaneous.  We have a VOIP (Vonage) phone that sits in our house, but uses a Wyoming phone number, that can be called at any time, and doesn't cost us extra.  And even physical mail like letters and packages are much more reliable than they used to be.  It's pretty incredible how much smaller the world is these days, and we can't describe what a blessing that is to missionaries!

Yellowstone Baptist Church in Cody, WY recently had EVERYone at the church write us a postcard and send them in a large envelope... SO COOL!

So, that's all to say, we'd love to hear from you!  Many of you already follow us on Facebook, and we'd always love to hear from you there.  Or, if you would like our Skype name, phone number, or physical address here in Mexico, write us on Facebook, or email me at missionguzman@gmail.com, and I'd love to send you the rest of our information.  Thank you to all of you who support us with your communication.  You'll never know what a blessing it is to us!

What are we doing?

So, what have we been up to the past few months here in Guzman? Quite a few things:

Hanging out in Chapala

• Learning: We still have so much to learn here!  There's been more things here, culturally and language-wise, that we've had to learn, and it's quite the time-consuming process.  Things like:
• Where do I get new tires when I hit a broken curb too hard and blow one out?
• How do we enroll our daughter in a school in Mexico, especially when we just don't seem to have all the documents that they think we should have? (More on this in the next few blog-posts)
• Spanish: in addition to normal language learning, Sara is meeting every week with Laura, a lady from our church, for hours at a time to practice talking.  This has been a blessing, not only because of the language study, but because we've been blessed to start to get to know Laura and her husband, Gonzalo, better in the past months.

Gabe helping daddy play the guitar

First day of school!  She's doing great with it!

• Preaching and teaching: I've had lots of chances to preach here lately, which is a huge blessing.  I've filled the pulpit here in Ciudad Guzman a few times when pastor Julian had to be away (twice on a Sunday night, ones on a Friday evening during a special service, and ones recently on a Sunday morning), I helped fill the pulpit once in Tamazula (about 45 minutes south of us) when their pastor was sick, and our friend pastor Ariel has let me preach a few times in their churches Rey de Reyes and La Nueva Aurora in Guadalajara.  It's still a challenge sometimes to preach, but it's getting easier to preach in Spanish, and with so many opportunities to preach, I feel like I'm getting into more of my rhythm lately.  I've also started teaching the college Sunday School class at the church, which is a huge blessing.  They have a lot of questions, and have a lot of things they need to learn, so starting this Sunday, we'll be going through a mix of lessons about the basics of our faith, plus some Sundays focusing on their questions that they have.  Many of the students here seem to know a lot of answers, but not why... meaning they have heard things we believe, or ought to believe, but don't know what the Bible actually says.  So, we're praying for deeper, more grounded study of the Word, with lots of focus on Bible reading and Bible memorization on their own.

Leading the worship at PIB Guzman with Daniel Delgado

Getting the opportunity to preach this past Sunday morning at PIB Guzmán

Some of the students at the camp praying.

• Helping:  Nick also had a chance to go help at a youth camp for a week in July.  The camp was at the La Laguna La María (Mary Lake), in Colima, about an hour and a half south of Guzmán.  Working with pastors and missionaries from Guadalajara, Puerta Vallarta, Queretero, Colima, and Puebla, I got to help with the recreation and activities of the camp, making runs to the store (an hour away) when we needed more supplies, and help in any other way that was needed.  The camp was a great success, with 150 people total at the camp (youth and adults), and at least 5 students accepting Christ during the week.

This was actually the kitchen all week at camp... 3 times a day, they fed 150 people out of here! (we did get walls up on 2 sides, and a fridge, but you get the idea!)

Activities!

Mega-Mexican-Relay!

More Mega-Mexican-Relay... in the rain!

I didn't do much to help us win, but I didn't help us lose!  Soccer champs!

There are other things going on here as well, but this is a good overview of what we've been up to lately.  It's been a busy few months, and we're excited to see how the opportunities for ministry will continue to grow here.  Be in prayer for more chances in the future, and pray specifically for an opportunity in the next few weeks to work with Pastor Julian to start a weekly Bible study in nearby Usmajac.  We'll post more in the upcoming weeks about what we've been doing, what our plans are for the end of the year, and how you can be a part of the ministry here next year!

The Long Silence

It seems like every time I begin a blog on here, I start by pointing out how long it has been since I last posted a blog, and how I really need to do better.  THIS time, though, it really has been a long time: the last blog post before this one is from DECEMBER!  There are a few reasons for this.

First, we've been getting settled in here and getting started.  While this may not sound like much, it's exhausting.  Sometimes, it takes forever just to go to the store.  Or to figure out how to fix a roof that is leaking (which has happened 3 times recently).  Or to get a pain of glass replaced (we've been waiting 2 months now to get one fixed).  Or a thousand other things that seem to slow us down to a crawl.  Pair that up with different customs, cultures, and a still slowly-growing grasp of the language, and sometimes it feels like not much gets done... I mean, how often can you write a blog about the joys of getting a tire replaced and finding a good mechanic?  So, often times, I sit down to write, and I end up not writing at all.

Second, when we're getting started, sometimes, it feels like we're not doing much.  It's hard to explain when a good day of ministry is finally getting to meet some neighbors, or to invite a parking-lot attendant to church with us, or to spend a few hours in a shop talking with a shopkeeper about life.  While these are all hugely important building blocks for long-term, successful ministry, sometimes, in my mind, they just feel so... small.  When I worked in the church in Casper, I always had lots to do, and knew exactly what needed to be done, and when I finished that, there was never a shortage of more things to do.  There were always people to visit, events to plan, Bible studies and sermons to prepare, hospital visits to make, students to have lunch with, or coffee with.  But here, so much of our time seems to be moving from one small (but important thing) to the next small (but equally important thing).  So, when I sit down to write, I often think, "gosh, this is going to sound so small, so insignificant.  I have friends back home who aren't in the ministry who have probably had more chances to share the Gospel this week than I have!"  So, because I'm waiting for 'bigger' things to happen, I usually end up skipping writing about all of the countless smaller things that have been going on.  Sometimes, I feel like I need to wait until I have the 'fire-fell-from-heaven-and-for-40-minutes-I spoke-flawless-Spanish-and-2,000-people-got-saved-and-we-planted-5-new-churches' moment before I write.  Sometimes, I forget that these little things that God is doing here and using us in here is part of his current plan, and you deserve to hear about those, too.

Finally, it's been hard to write lately, too, because it's hard to write about struggles.  The past few months have been difficult for us.  We hit that missionary 'wall', the one where we realize that we're not coming home soon, that this is more than just a missions 'trip,' that it's a missions life.  There have been hard times of homesickness (parents visiting in April and June help on the one hand, but also made things harder when they left).  There have been frustrations when we have days where the Spanish just isn't working.  It's been very hard for me (Nick), as I'm a huge extrovert (I'm sure those of you that know me are extremely shocked to hear this :)  ), and I'm suddenly in a place with very few friends, definitely no close friends yet, and very little contact with friends back in the States.  So there's been lots of loneliness, homesickness, some days (if we're being honest) of struggles and depression, and definitely times of spiritual attacks as well, on the whole family.  It's been some of the harder times we've ever experienced.  There have been days where we feel like God is using us here and we're excited to be here, followed by days where we just want to pack up and come home.  We know we're not the only ones, because we talk to and hear of missionaries all the time who are experiencing or have experienced similar things.  But it's hard, and it's discouraging, and when it comes time to write a blog, it's not the sort of thing that's easy to put into words.  More specifically, I think, 'they don't want to hear about our struggles, and they don't want to hear this is hard.  I want them to know how excited and thankful and blessed we are to be doing this, not all of these other thoughts and feelings!' And so, I wouldn't write.

And all of that added up leads to a long absence from the blog.  But, that's not ok!  We have wonderful prayer warriors and wonderful supporters and you all deserve to hear how we are (good and bad), and what God's doing in us here (big or small).  More importantly, beCAUSE you are such great supporters, we need you to know what's going on and how we're doing, because that will help you know how to support us better and pray for us more specifically!

So, first, I'm sorry!  I'm sorry we haven't communicated better the things that God is doing in us, and the ways that we need you!  And second, we're going to do a better job!  Over the next few weeks, we're going to try to have several new blogs so you can know better what's going on, and know more specifically how to pray for us.  Thank you for loving and supporting us, and thank you for all you do to enable us to be here serving in Ciudad Guzmán, Mexico!

How/What We're Doing

After a long, long week of travel (thank you SO much for all your prayers!), we've now been in Ciudad Guzman for more than 3 weeks, and we're finally getting settled in here.  I wanted to take a few minutes and let you all know what we're up to here, and share how you can pray for us as well during this time.

How would you like to drive THIS route with 3 little kids in the car?  Anyone??

Once we got to Guzman, there were two priorities: make the house livable, and rest!  It was amazing how exhausted we were after a week of travel, and it felt like it took us almost a week just to catch up on rest and not feel like we were completely out of energy.  However, during that time, we still had things to do.  We had a home, but not much else.  We didn't have a refrigerator, or any furniture at all except some mattresses that our friend Ariel had purchased for us in Guadalajara before we came down.  So, we very quickly had to find our way around the city enough to get started!  We managed to find a new little family owned furniture store next to the hotel we stayed at the first few nights, and we bought a dining room set and some couches there (we were able to get those thanks to the generosity of College Heights Baptist Church, who held a garage sale for us the weekend we left and sent the proceeds to us to get started).

The volcano overlooking Ciudad Guzman, as seen from the roof of our house.

The kids in front of one of the fountains downtown.

Thanks to Pastor Julian, who pastors a church here in Guzman, we found a place where we could also get a refrigerator and a washer.  Armed with these items, we felt ready to start living in our home!  Even then, there was a lot for us to learn.  For example, we now have a gas tank (on top of our house)... so, how do we get it filled?  And now I have a gas water heater, which is totally new for me... so how do I light it? (I know, I know, I'm a loser for not knowing that... but I know it now!)  Where do we shop here?  What's available, and what are we going to have to do without? (Pickles are really hard to find, and tomato soup is impossible to find... so are a lot of spices that we're used to using).  About half of the lights in the house weren't working, which I found out was due to bad switches.  So, where do I get new ones?  And what's the right vocabulary (I didn't learn much electrical vocab at language school!)  Step by step, we're getting these things figured out, and getting more used to our home and more settled into our house.  I even managed to purchase some lumber (another place where my vocabulary failed me... what's Spanish for 2x4?  Sanded?  Planed?  Anyone??)  and build a bed for Sara and I, so that we don't have to sleep on the floor anymore with our mattress.  Hopefully in the next few weeks, I'll get one built for Gabe, and maybe tackle a bunk-bed for the girls! (Though we also need some shelves for the books and Bibles we bought.)

New table and chairs!

Getting lumber for the first time in Mexico... quite an experience!

The bed that I built for Sara and I.  Just two beds to go!

We've also slowly been getting to know the city.  I (Nick) can find my way around better and better now, and I'm pretty used to the crazy back and forth of the one way streets here.  Almost every street in Guzman is a one way, and some of them are two ways that become one ways.  I even know of at least one street that is a one way, in both directions, depending on where you catch it!  It just switches back and forth across town!  Needless to say, it takes a while to get used to this, and to figure out which one way you want for the direction that you eventually hope to end up.  Also, the #1 form of speed control here in Mexico are what are known as topes: speed bumps.  Every street has them, often times one per block (there's one almost right in front of our house for our street).  When they're new, they're painted yellow, and are easily marked... but most of them are completely faded now, and it's a joy (especially at night) to try not to hit them going fast.  So, eventually, you just learn where they are, and how to drive them.  The final ingredient is the traffic and style of driving here.  4 lanes of traffic often fit into two or three lanes on the road.  One turning lane will have two or three lanes of traffic turning into it.  Buses start and stop, which means that all traffic darts in and out around the traffic.  Plus there's the motorcycles, the bicycles, the potholes, and the cars backing in and out of parking spaces that add to the general madness.  When Sara drives here, she's constantly muttering to herself "be aggressive... be aggressive,"  because being passive here sometimes just brings more trouble than good as a driver.  The other night, Sara said, "Nick, you've learned how to drive like a Mexican," to which I replied, "actually, I've always driven like a Mexican, it just was frowned upon in Wyoming."

Caitlynn in front of some of the fountains in the central plaza.

In the midst of all this, we've starting finding things.  We know a few grocery stores to visit.  We know a few places to get great tacos and tortas.  We found the tianguis (it was called a feria in Costa Rica, we would call it a farmer's market).  Little by little, we're finding what we need to live here.  We're also meeting people, in our neighborhood, at the church we're attending, and around town.  There's Marcello, who owns the bike shop a few blocks away, where Nick goes and visits once a week.  There Maria and Jesus (seriously, and Maria is even pregnant!), who live far away, but Maria works at the school across the street from us.  There's Santiago, who works at the grocery store we visit a lot, and Abel, who works at the Taco place we eat at sometimes.  Right now, these are just acquaintances  who we hope will grow into friendships, and chances to share the Gospel more.

Excited about the berries at the Tianguis in Guzman.

Next time, I'll talk about the ministry here, and what we're envisioning for the future here in Guzman.  For now, let me leave you with a few ways that you can pray for us:

• Pray for us as we continue to settle into the home, and as we try to make things a little more permanent here.
• Pray for us as we continue to meet people, that God will help us make connections and friendships in the neighborhood and in the city.
• Pray for our Spanish, as we still have a lot to learn, and there are a lot of differences between the Spanish here and what we learned in Costa Rica.
• Pray for us as we're away from friends and family over the holidays.  We've already been gone over Thanksgiving and Zoe's 6th birthday, and it's hard to be away during this time.  Pray that God will protect our hearts and be with us.  Pray that people will contact us and encourage us while we're here, too.
• Pray for the kids.  Zoe and Caitlynn have already had some struggles being away from the grandparents and friends we left behind in Wyoming (and our friends in Costa Rica, too), and we've been dealing with some behavior issues, not to mention some random outbursts of crying.  Pray for them as they adapt here.  It took almost 3 months for them to adapt when we moved to Costa Rica.
• Pray that all the support we need will continue to come in, and offer prayers of thanks for all the wonderful people and churches that support us in the ministry here.

Celebrating Zoe's 6th birthday

Thank you so much for your prayers and support!  If you want to know how to contact us here in Mexico, email me at missionguzman@gmail.com, and I can pass along our physical address, phone number, or Skype name.  If you're from a church, we'd love to Skype with your congregation at any time and share what's happening here!  God bless!

Saying Goodbye

The Johnson Family: Ready for Mexico

Well, it's hard to believe, but our time in Costa Rica has drawn to a close.  When we came here in December, the end of language school seemed impossibly far away, and we had no idea what to expect.  When you don't know the language, the culture, any people, or have any idea what our time here would be like.  Would we learn the language quickly, or struggle all year?  Would we ever make heads or tails out of the neighborhood and culture that we suddenly found ourselves in?  After living and working in Wyoming our whole lives, what would it be like for us to suddenly be so far away in every possible way from all that we were used to?  How would we make the transition from being close to our family and friends?

The last day of Nick's Grammar Class this Trimester

The answer through all of this was: God.  He has helped us, sustained us, renewed us, given us grace in many forms (comforting grace, empowering grace, etc), and has brought us to the end, of this part of our lives at least.  We met amazing friends here (both among the missionary families and among the Ticos here in Costa Rica).  Not only did we adapt to the culture and the neighborhood, but we came to love it.  We learned some Spanish, and the learned that we'd still be learning years from now.  But, we leave here feeling more solid in the language, the Latin American culture, and in our ability to live away from home and on the mission field.  There have been some challenging times, and we still have much to learn, but we can't thank God enough for the time that we've had here.

Walking at graduation last week carrying the flag for Mexico.

Last week, we finished up classes, walked in our graduation ceremony last Friday, and said some hard goodbyes.  Many of our friends have already left Costa Rica, on their way to Ecuador, Peru, Mexico, and the United States.  Others, we'll be leaving behind in just a few days.  This weekend, we said more goodbyes, this time to our Tico friends that we've met here in the community, and in the church that we've been blessed to attend this year.  In the next two days, we'll say more goodbyes, this time to the student families that we've become closest to.

With our friends the Darnell family, another Global Outreach missionary family, of the way to Ecuador.

Good byes are hard.  Tonight, I laid in bed with Caitlynn, who couldn't stop crying.  When I finally was able to get her to calm down so I could ask her what was wrong, she said, "We have to leave here and it makes me sad."  How real kids are sometimes, willing to show out in the open what many of us only feel and hide on the inside.  I was able to tell her that it is sad, that we'll be leaving behind some wonderful friends, and that it even makes me sad.  However, then I was able to talk to her about the future, and the things that are coming that we have t look forward to:  seeing our family in the United States, visiting our home church and seeing our friends.  We talked about living in Mexico, and making friends there that we wouldn't have to leave so quickly.  Finally, we talked about God, who has promised to never leave us or forsake us, who is there at the top of the highest mountains, and at the bottom of the sea, and how there is nowhere we can go in all of creation where He will not be.  Caitlynn loved the idea, in the midst of hard goodbyes, of a God who never leaves us, who never says goodbye.  And, I love the idea too!

Dinner with Mayela and her family, just some of the amazing Tico friends that we've made here in Costa Rica this year.

Keep us in your prayers over the next few days as we pack, prepare, and say those hard goodbyes.  Ask God to strengthen us and encourage us in Him, that we might find our joy, peace, and direction in Him.  Pray specifically for the kids, especially Zoe and Caitlynn, as they struggle with their goodbyes here.  I will write again in a few days to let you know what the next few months looks like, and how you can pray and be a part of it all.  For now, we love you all, thank you for your prayers and encouragement, and we can't wait to see and hear from all of you as we're back in the States for a few months!

Saying goodbye to Esteban, one of the young men that I'm going to miss here in Costa Rica.

The worship team from the church, over at our house for lunch one last time before we leave this Wednesday for a few months in the United States.

The Test

This past week, I had two very intense tests to prepare for.  The first one was last Friday, and was a 30-minute oral exam.  There wasn't much I could do to prepare for it, because no one knew what the questions would be.  I just showed up, and started talking, answering questions with the teacher as I went, and hopefully showing fluency  in Spanish.  In order to pass the oral test, I needed to achieve an 'advance' rating on my speaking abilities. (One teacher told me that an 'advanced' level is when a Spanish speaker who has never talked to a gringo before can walk up to me and hold a conversation, and I can understand and make myself understood.)  Considering that I came to Costa Rica to study Spanish only 7 months ago, and that I came in with almost no Spanish, getting an advanced rating would be pretty huge for me after only two trimesters at the school.

The second test was last Tuesday, and was a comprehensive, 3 hour, 300 point written exam.  It covered everything: present tense, past tense, future tense, subjunctives, parifrases, comparatives, quoting people... everything!  In order to pass the written test, I need at least a 70% as a final score.  Most students take both exams after their third semester at the school, but since we are leaving in less that two weeks, I decided to take them now.  I took them for two big reasons:  First, I wanted to graduate here with the diploma (in order to graduate with the diploma, you have to pass BOTH tests first!).  Second, since we are leaving early, I wanted to confirmation that my Spanish had grown to the level where I'd be able to converse well when we get to Mexico.  I was hoping that these tests would assure me that I have everything that I need to serve and minister in Mexico.

However, as I've been waiting for the results, I realized something: I was looking for something from these tests that should only come from God!  There is NOTHING in this world that can make me a competent minister of the Gospel apart from the Lord, no classes, no tests, no human confirmation or adulation.  Nothing makes me 'good enough' or 'equipped enough' except God.  I was reminded of what God told the prophet Jeremiah, in Jeremiah 1:



      Before I formed you in the womb I knew you,
                  and before you were born I consecrated you;
                  I appointed you a prophet to the nations.”

6 Then I said, “Ah, Lord GOD! Behold, I do not know how to speak, for I am only a youth.” 7 But the LORD said to me,

                  “Do not say, ‘I am only a youth’;
                  for to all to whom I send you, you shall go,
                  and whatever I command you, you shall speak.
            8    Do not be afraid of them,
                  for I am with you to deliver you,
                  declares the LORD.”

9 Then the LORD put out his hand and touched my mouth. And the LORD said to me,

                  “Behold, I have put my words in your mouth.
            10  See, I have set you this day kover nations and over kingdoms,
                  to pluck up and to break down,
                  to destroy and to overthrow,
                  to build and to plant.”


The Holy Bible: English Standard Version. 2001 (Je 1:5–10). Wheaton: Standard Bible Society.

God was well aware of my deficiencies when He chose me.  He was aware of my sin when He saved me.  He knew about my pride and my struggles when He began to sanctify me.  He knew of my terrible Spanish when He called me to serve and share and minister in Mexico.  God knew!  And not only did He know, He called me anyways!!  I don't need a test or a class or a piece of paper to tell me that I have what it takes to serve in Mexico, because God has already confirmed this in me!

So, I'm going to go receive my scores in about 5 minutes.  I'll be excited if I pass, and I'll be disappointed if I fail, but I will remember that neither one defines who I am or my ability to serve God, because it is God who is doing the work in me, and it is He who will see it through to the day of completion.  May I never build up something else to have the significance in my life that only God deserves, because if my God is for me, then who (or what) shall be against me? (and that includes my terrible Spanish!).  May you also find yourself justified and covered today with all that you need in Christ, because He is more than enough for us!

Mamóns

This will just be a fun little post about a new delicacy that we found in the Feria around here lately.  In our Feria (fruit market) that we attend every Saturday, there are tons of fruits and veggies that you can buy, many that are familiar to Americans, but some are totally foreign.  It's a fun place, especially if you're willing to try new things.

Our weekly Feria here in San Francisco de Dos Rios

An example of what you can find at the Feria each week.

This week, we got a bag of the newest, weirdest fruit to be in-season here in Costa Rica.  The official name is a rambutan, but here they call them Mamón Chinos (literally means 'Chinese Suckers'.)  These are some weird little fruits mainly because of how they look: they have the color and size of large ripe strawberries, but are covered in these weird looking hair like things with the texture of something offered by Nerf.  On a scale of 1 to Weird, these are a 12!

Remember these toys?  That's kinda what a Mamón Chino feels like.

Some of our selection from the Feria this week.

So, we decided to get half a kilo (about a pound), and show everyone how to eat them!  The girls helped me with this experament.  Zoe and I loved the Mamóns, while Sara and Caitlynn didn't really care for them (and Gabe was too young to try).

The girls with their Mamóns all ready to try.

The first thing you have to do is use your fingernail to crack open the Mamón, so that you can get to the fruit inside.  (Thankfully, you don't have to eat the 'hairy' part, I'm not sure I could do that!)

The Mamóns all broken open with the fruit showing.

Once you have it cracked open, you can take the top off to see the fruit inside, which you can squeeze into your mouth.  It has the texture of a peeled grape, with a very large seed inside.  You suck on the fruit until you eat all the fruit off, then can spit the seed out.  The fruit is somewhat sweet, kind of like a grape, though not as juicy.  Overall, they're a lot of work to eat, but very good!

The seed with all of the fruit off of it... you wouldn't want to swallow that thing!

If you want to see more, you can watch the video below and see my assistant Zoe show you how to eat a Mamón.  If you ever stumble across them in the markets back home, give them a try!

A week of... rest?

A few weeks ago, we had 'Spiritual Emphasis Week' here at the Spanish Language Institute.  Every semester, they bring in a guest preacher, who shares at chapel during the week.  However, instead of just having chapel on Tuesday and Thursday mornings like normal, chapel is every morning and afternoon during the week!  Also, teachers are not allowed to give out homework during Spiritual Emphasis week, so it's supposed to be a time to step back from the Spanish (a little), and focus instead on the Lord (a LOT!).  In theory, it's a time of rest... in practice, not always :)  But, it's always blessing!  This semester, I'm the worship leader for the institute's chapel time, so that meant there was a lot of preparation to do to get all the worship ready for each chapel time.  However, it was a great blessing to gather every day and worship with the students at ILE.

We were blessed this trimester to have David Sitton come and be our speaker for Spiritual Emphasis week. David has been a missionary to Papau New Guinea, focusing on completely unreached tribes, many of them comprised of head-hunters and cannibals.  Now, in addition to continuing trips to PNG, he founded and runs To Ever Tribe Missions, (www.toeverytribe.com) which focuses on sending missionaries to the unreached people-groups all around the world.  He spent the week sharing about his experiences in missions, and encouraging us in the theme that 'Jesus is Worth It.'  It's good to be reminded that, when we struggle with the language, when we miss home, when we are unsure about our finances coming in on time, and have countless other struggles, that Jesus is worth it!  It's also challenging to be reminded that, when there are times of personal loss, when people reject our message, when we share Christ for a long time without seeing clear fruit, that Jesus is still worth it!

David Sitton (right) with our friend Scott from the Institute

We were also blessed to get to have David in our home on Friday night for dinner.  We got to just talk to him about our mission to Mexico, and hear more from him about missions.  To Every Tribe supports missionaries in Oaxaca, Mexico, sharing with unreached people groups just a 2 days' drive from the US border!  We were also blessed to hear David's heart for Mexico, and to find out about ways that David might be able to help us as we prepare to get started in Mexico.  It's so amazing how God brings the right people into our paths at the right time!

Gabe checking out someone else's yard

Patriotic girls at our school's 4th of July party

We also had a great surprise during our week of rest, because Sara's friend from the States, Michele, came for a surprise visit!  I (Nick) had known for a few months that she was coming, and helped work out a lot of the details, but the entire idea for the trip was Michele's!  I had to lie a little, and tell Sara that I had a men's meeting at the church to go to, then I went across town by bus to pick up Michele in a cab and bring her back home.  I had told Sara that someone was going to be staying with us on Monday night, so she was expecting a guest, but she definitely wasn't expecting Michele!  It was so great to see her reaction, and to get to spend time with Michele for a few days.  Michele stayed with us, went to classes with Sara a few times, and we took her downtown one day to see a few sights and do a little shopping, but mainly we just enjoyed our time with her here.  What an encouragement it was to Sara to have Michele here!

Walking through downtown San José with our friend Michele.

It was a very BUSY week (of rest), but we couldn't have been more blessed by it all.  Now, as I'm writing this, we're down to only 40 days in Costa Rica before we come back to the States for a few months!  Be in prayer for:

• The end of our schooling here, that we'll learn as much as possible.
• For Nick as he'll be taking a massive exam at the end of July called the ECHO exam.  It consists of a 30 min oral examination (that must be passed at an 'advanced' level), followed by a 3 hour written exam (that must be passed at a 70 or higher).  Nick really wants to pass this test, so keep that in your prayers.
• Pray for us as we get ready to say goodbye to some amazing friends here in Costa Rica.  The difficult truth is that, for many of these great friends that we've made, we may never see them again this side of heaven as we spread out around the globe to share Christ.  Our goodbyes will be very hard (some of them already have been), but we rejoice in the time that we've had with everyone here.
• Pray for us as we are still seeking more churches to share at when we're back in the USA from August to November.  We are hoping to share about our mission at many new churches, and raise a little more support, but the doors haven't been opening well so far.  Keep this in your prayers, please!

Thank you for your love and prayers, and for remembering us!  

Zoe having one last play date with one of her best friends here, Bethany, before their family leaves for Mexico City this weekend.

One last time being silly before having to say goodbye.